The Ninth

I’m quite glad that I haven’t skipped a day since I started this but let’s put into consideration that it’s only my fourth day of writing and that I have many more days to come.

My Friday was really quiet. I got up kind of late. It’s a holiday so the roads were almost clear except for the occasional cars that pass by my office street. There weren’t too many people in the office (sucks that I didn’t have a long weekend but it felt like it somehow) because I don’t know, they didn’t want to work on a holiday. So that was work.

I spent the rest of the night reading about two friends who are dating each other as an experiment. It’s called Forty Days of Dating and honestly, at first I thought it was a joke. However, I will redeem my stupid comment by telling you that it’s very interesting and it will drive you crazy (for wanting more) and it will sort of hit you with issues you thought you already got over.

The rules of this project are as follows:

1. They will see each other every day for forty days.
2. They will go on a date at least three dates a week.
3. They will see a couples therapist once a week.
4. They will go on one weekend trip together.
5. They will fill out the daily questionnaire and document everything.
6. They will not see, date, hookup, or have sex with anyone else.

The contrast, when it comes to perspective, between a man and a woman is so obvious in this project. You can tell just by reading their thoughts that Jessie is such a girl in a sense that she’s jumping to conclusions and overthinking things. On the other hand, Tim is such a bro what with all the why is there a need to complicate things? OH GOD I AM SCARED OF COMMITMENT!!!! Why shouldn’t we just let this project take its natural course? I slept with a lot of women of course my past will come back at some point; I just have to be ready to face it.

I love gossip (we all do) but I don’t see this project just as that. (Side note: I’m also very curious if they will be, at some point, tempted to raise the bar higher a.k.a. coitus.) There’s more to it when you look close and feel as tangled as the two people involved are. I’m not only learning things about myself but also things about the opposite sex that I skipped (or chose to ignore) because I wasn’t paying attention (or I didn’t really care all that much).

Everyone has pain relating to your own. I am slowly learning that I am a weird mix of a guy and girl in regards to dating although I found myself relating to Tim most of the time. Both the girly feelings (i.e. overthinking, apparent mood shifts due to unrelated stuff like headaches or an ex coming back around, etc.) and the bro feelings (i.e. I shouldn’t compromise just because all of my friends are either in a long term relationship or worse, are getting married, not admitting I like a person and I want more because of reasons, relationships complicate things AND my well-being) can be quite annoying, I’ve learned, when you’re looking at it as an outsider.

And while at first at thought it was a stupid idea to get on this boat, I think these two are very brave. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else unless they want to be in this kind of trippy, controlled environment. The thing about relationships is that everything happens spontaneously. Being forced to see another human being everyday, not buts or whys, is such a choker. Thinking about it already makes me feel claustrophobic.

Furthermore, the deadline is what makes me feel absolutely uneasy and terrified. What happens when one of them, after forty days, want out and call it quits because said person was only in it for the experience while the other developed true feelings and is devastated when he/she finds out he/she had been played (Question: Do you consider this situation being played?)?

It is so complicated.  It honestly gave me a headache but I’m looking forward to knowing what happens with these two. They only have ten days left and I am dying to know the dirty details.


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